Fashion Wars
My personal sense of fashion is horrid. I can't deny that. I consider dressing up to be wearing clean trousers and a tucked in shirt. Liz, on the other hand, is a very fashionable person and always looks very nice in everything she wears. She buys clothes a fair amount compared to my twice a year shopping trips to walmart. She wear labels and has to have clothes that match. She routinely wears clothes that are more then 200 pounds. I consider it a personal achievement if everything I'm wearing combine is less then 30 pounds. Something that happens fairly regular. Liz's goal is to make me dress nicer. She actually has brought me a few button down shirts so i can be presentable. When she comes back in a week we are going shopping(I'm so looking forward to it). I'm sure its going to be a very interesting trip.
Me: Heyyyy
Liz: Hello
Me: How is it going? I actually had a rather fun day. Went out to brick lane for lunch with my friend and then i got a dozen bagels from the bagel place. I also got listen to the nats game. We lost but it was a really interesting game. It should have been tried at the bottom of the 8th but ...Liz? Are you there?
Liz: Yes I'm here. I was talking to David(her brother whose party i went to on Saturday).
Me: Oh great. It was a really nifty party.
Liz: yeah he said it was fun and he told me you seemed like you had a great time. He also sent me a few photos of the party
Me: Oh cool
Liz: Patrick, what shirt were you wearing at the party
Me: ... uh....
Liz: you were wearing the shirt that i told you never to wear ever in public again.
Me: well yeah but i had a nice shirt over it. So it even out. Nobody could see the holes
Liz: You still wore the shirt that is completely disgusting
Me: Its not that bad. It only has a few holes. There are no spots on it. I rather like it.
Liz: IT HAS A HUGE HOLE UNDER THE ARMPIT.
Me: But i wore the shirt over it so nobody could see it. I used my head.
Liz: But you have some nice clothes, why didn't you wear them.
Me: They were dirty and i hadn't washed them
Liz: Really they were dirty? i know this party was at last notice and all, its not like you knew about it a week before? Never ever wear that shirt out in public again. I refused to be associated you in that shirt.
Me: Ok never in public
Liz: You are wearing it now aren't you
Me: I can neither acknowledge nor deny.
Liz: Ok you know how you force me to wear the stupid cap
Me: Its not a stupid cap and you looked rather nice in it.
Liz: Oh yeah. My ???(She used some name of a fashion person and i don't remember the name. All i know is this guy or girl who made what she was wearing deserves to be making a ton of money) dressed looked so much better as a result of a red national hat on my head.
Me: (Attempt to flatter) You could wear a sombrero and still look great
Liz: Don't attempt to flatter yourself out of this. As a punishment for wearing that shirt you have to dress up nice all week.
Me: .... uh...
Liz: Everytime you leave the house and i know you actually have to leave the house this week, you are to wear a button down shirt which is tucked into your trousers and a tie.
Me: You know i was called Dapper Patrick at the campaign because i always wore ties and such.
Liz: Just because the mailroom guy thought you looked good doesn't mean you have a excuse for the rest of you life when somebody questions you on your fashion. You are going to be wearing this stuff all week and when you pick me up next week, you will be wearing a suit
Me: But i don't have a jacket.
Liz: Find one or at the very least look for one.
Me: Ok but i do this under protest.
So i have class two days this week and both days I'll be wearing ties. Since i didn't need to go out in public today I'm still wearing the shirt and proud of it.
Me: 30 pounds for a t-shirt? I can get the same t-shirt at walmart for $8.The following exchange happened last night around 10PM. This isn't the actually conversation word for word but you'll get the general idea.
Liz: Evil Eye
Me: Ok fine I'll get it
Me: Heyyyy
Liz: Hello
Me: How is it going? I actually had a rather fun day. Went out to brick lane for lunch with my friend and then i got a dozen bagels from the bagel place. I also got listen to the nats game. We lost but it was a really interesting game. It should have been tried at the bottom of the 8th but ...Liz? Are you there?
Liz: Yes I'm here. I was talking to David(her brother whose party i went to on Saturday).
Me: Oh great. It was a really nifty party.
Liz: yeah he said it was fun and he told me you seemed like you had a great time. He also sent me a few photos of the party
Me: Oh cool
Liz: Patrick, what shirt were you wearing at the party
Me: ... uh....
Liz: you were wearing the shirt that i told you never to wear ever in public again.
Me: well yeah but i had a nice shirt over it. So it even out. Nobody could see the holes
Liz: You still wore the shirt that is completely disgusting
Me: Its not that bad. It only has a few holes. There are no spots on it. I rather like it.
Liz: IT HAS A HUGE HOLE UNDER THE ARMPIT.
Me: But i wore the shirt over it so nobody could see it. I used my head.
Liz: But you have some nice clothes, why didn't you wear them.
Me: They were dirty and i hadn't washed them
Liz: Really they were dirty? i know this party was at last notice and all, its not like you knew about it a week before? Never ever wear that shirt out in public again. I refused to be associated you in that shirt.
Me: Ok never in public
Liz: You are wearing it now aren't you
Me: I can neither acknowledge nor deny.
Liz: Ok you know how you force me to wear the stupid cap
Me: Its not a stupid cap and you looked rather nice in it.
Liz: Oh yeah. My ???(She used some name of a fashion person and i don't remember the name. All i know is this guy or girl who made what she was wearing deserves to be making a ton of money) dressed looked so much better as a result of a red national hat on my head.
Me: (Attempt to flatter) You could wear a sombrero and still look great
Liz: Don't attempt to flatter yourself out of this. As a punishment for wearing that shirt you have to dress up nice all week.
Me: .... uh...
Liz: Everytime you leave the house and i know you actually have to leave the house this week, you are to wear a button down shirt which is tucked into your trousers and a tie.
Me: You know i was called Dapper Patrick at the campaign because i always wore ties and such.
Liz: Just because the mailroom guy thought you looked good doesn't mean you have a excuse for the rest of you life when somebody questions you on your fashion. You are going to be wearing this stuff all week and when you pick me up next week, you will be wearing a suit
Me: But i don't have a jacket.
Liz: Find one or at the very least look for one.
Me: Ok but i do this under protest.
So i have class two days this week and both days I'll be wearing ties. Since i didn't need to go out in public today I'm still wearing the shirt and proud of it.
posted by Patrick Flaherty at 2:58 pm
1 Comments:
I think I speak on behalf of all of Patrick's sisters when I say, Thank you Liz! We have been trying FOR YEARS to get Patrick to wear at least half decent clothes without holes in them.
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