Eating out with men
I'm a guy and i don't like eating with other men. It isn't because i don't want to be thought of as a gay couple(ok maybe a little but I've gotten over that a fair amount) but its because its so fast. There is no enjoyment. Basically men will order something right away. Eat it as fast as they can. Pay the bill before it even arrives and then leave. I have gone to restaurant with guys and in less then 30 minutes we are gone. Take away the time for the food to be cooked, it would have only been 15 minutes. I think guys probably spent the exact same amount of time on fast food as restaurant food.
Men will not ask questions about anything on the menu or have their food tailored to their needs. If a man wants something to drink then he will look at the drinks menu right away before starting on the main menu.
When a bunch of men go out for dinner together, they will all look to see who finished first because it is an achievement. If one takes a very long time they will be left behind.
Men will calculate the bill in their heads rather then waiting for it and make sure they have the money out before the bill actually arrives. It will be cash and no change will be required. We will leave before the waiter even comes back to take the bill.
I'm lucky that i usually get to eat out with women as most of my friends are in fact women. They eat slower(they chew), they spend more time looking at their food(they actually look at what they eat). They take breaks(they breath). They don't do math in their head while pretending to listen to somebody talk about a pointless thing. Another great part is that most women will not finish their entire meal and the good ones will let you finish it for you. No man would ever do this as it would be a sign of weakness or even worse gayness. There another great part about eating with women, it is dessert. When men dine together they will never ever order dessert even though they might want it. We do this because this would slow down our departure of the restaurant and might destroy our calculations of the bill.
When the group is mixed men still display some of these characteristics but some of them are changed. We will eat the food as roughly the same speed or in fact faster so we don't have to share any of it. We probably won't be able to calculate the bill before it arrives since the group is too large to keep track but we will have made sure how much our dish costs. We might not grab our wallet before the bill comes because we don't want to be accused of touching our arse more then normal during dinner. Men also think its achievement to lift their butt as little as possible to get to their wallet.
Now there is one great thing about eating with all men, we will chose a restaurant right away. Men will be able to see something they want on any menu except for some chic crap restaurant whose chairs don't actually have backs. So when men search for a restaurant they will find one very quickly. Now some of you are probably saying wait a minute, men never say they want to go to this place. Yes that's true but only when we are in a mixed group. We do this because we have learned from years of experience not to express an opinion. Why? There might be no dessert
Men will not ask questions about anything on the menu or have their food tailored to their needs. If a man wants something to drink then he will look at the drinks menu right away before starting on the main menu.
When a bunch of men go out for dinner together, they will all look to see who finished first because it is an achievement. If one takes a very long time they will be left behind.
Men will calculate the bill in their heads rather then waiting for it and make sure they have the money out before the bill actually arrives. It will be cash and no change will be required. We will leave before the waiter even comes back to take the bill.
I'm lucky that i usually get to eat out with women as most of my friends are in fact women. They eat slower(they chew), they spend more time looking at their food(they actually look at what they eat). They take breaks(they breath). They don't do math in their head while pretending to listen to somebody talk about a pointless thing. Another great part is that most women will not finish their entire meal and the good ones will let you finish it for you. No man would ever do this as it would be a sign of weakness or even worse gayness. There another great part about eating with women, it is dessert. When men dine together they will never ever order dessert even though they might want it. We do this because this would slow down our departure of the restaurant and might destroy our calculations of the bill.
When the group is mixed men still display some of these characteristics but some of them are changed. We will eat the food as roughly the same speed or in fact faster so we don't have to share any of it. We probably won't be able to calculate the bill before it arrives since the group is too large to keep track but we will have made sure how much our dish costs. We might not grab our wallet before the bill comes because we don't want to be accused of touching our arse more then normal during dinner. Men also think its achievement to lift their butt as little as possible to get to their wallet.
Now there is one great thing about eating with all men, we will chose a restaurant right away. Men will be able to see something they want on any menu except for some chic crap restaurant whose chairs don't actually have backs. So when men search for a restaurant they will find one very quickly. Now some of you are probably saying wait a minute, men never say they want to go to this place. Yes that's true but only when we are in a mixed group. We do this because we have learned from years of experience not to express an opinion. Why? There might be no dessert
posted by Patrick Flaherty at 11:48 pm
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